Fear digs its claws into me. Medicine and strength numb me during the daytime, flooding false hope into the moat around my keep. But as nighttime creeps in, the moat is poisoned and emptied. Anxiety, depression, paranoia - all are the weapons of fear. Beasts braying in the darkness. Fear is natural. It informs us… Continue reading fear.
When I came out of my exile from the internet and joined social media sites, I pushed myself forward and got over my fears by committing to be completely honest and open about my struggles and myself. I hoped it would at least provide a window into my mental health problems that might help someone… Continue reading Tired
Good Friday Talk! I planned on posting this as a thread on Twitter but as I wrote it became clear that the length wouldn't make that an option. I’m not going into a discussion of crucifixion itself, as I plan on doing a full video on that later. Instead, let’s talk about the crucifixion of… Continue reading Happy Good Friday!
I haven't forgotten about this blog, though I've been neglecting it for a while now. I'm terribly sorry to anyone who has been waiting for an update. It's a good thing I haven't such a small audience though; I'm pretty sure no one checks here at all, which is fine with me. I've been meaning… Continue reading The Future of MyLostDivinity
Part 1: My Loss (in which the author looks into his own religious beliefs and attempts to articulate them with long-winded hyperbolic forays into boredom) *The image associated with post is of a church across the street from my house, called "Unfinished Church." My choice for the name of this blog, My Lost Divinity, implies… Continue reading My Lost Divinity – Part 1
On the 30th of November, 2011, I left work early with a nasty stomach ache. I didn’t really think anything else was wrong - nothing, at least, that warranted me leaving the floor of my call center and risking my job to go to a doctor. I’d had stomach problems before in the course of… Continue reading The Downside To Disability
[EDIT: I've left this post intact, mainly because it represents an epilogue to my breakdown and recovery. There are references to a username that I've removed after finding that it is currently being used by someone who I do not want to interact with or disturb in any way.] A ridiculous trigger has pulled me… Continue reading Please Don’t Trust Cassandra
In early October, I got an unanticipated sum of money - the first bit of good luck that has happened to me in years, and also the first birthday free of awful events in close to a decade. A birthday I enjoyed. We spent the money paying off some debt, but with a good chunk… Continue reading Stream Dream
Gaslighting. Most of us have heard the term, and many understand what it means. The favorite tactic of an abuser, especially a narcissist, gaslighting is much more common than it may appear to be. I'd hazard a guess that almost everyone has encountered gaslighting, whether personally or observed. The plot involves a husband slowly manipulating… Continue reading The Gaslit Fog
Mental Disorders are specific to every different individual and never quite the same between any two of us. This is because they are shaped by personal experience. While the symptoms can be generalized and categorized to better offer treatment options, each of us still has an intimate relationship with our own realities. This is why… Continue reading Our Ever-Shifting Worlds
I've been pounding away at several entries recently but none of them are ready to be published. New ideas keep coming, and with my other pursuits (poetry book, music streaming on Twitch, etc) it's been rough sailing - especially due to my ADHD. Rest assured that more is coming. I'm working on pieces about my… Continue reading Quick Update